Need A Valentine?

Well it’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is coming up quickly.  Will you be alone again or do you plan to actually DO something to change it this year?  It’s your choice to try or not, but if you do decide to try to change it then joining a dating site is a good idea.  There are links to several good and trustworthy dating sites at the top of this page, so go on, give it a shot. If you’re lonely then DO something to change it. Join one of the sites and get yourself a date for Valentines Day and maybe you’ll even find love…

Good Luck!

Are You Worth Love and Respect?

People are always complaining that they are constantly being let down by the people they date. They say that everyone they are with does not value them, uses them, cheats on them, lies to them, or any number of bad behaviors that people do to each other. Often they say that they give up on finding anyone only to turn right around and be in another bad relationship where the same scenario is played out again.

The reality is that when it comes to love and relationships, we will only get what we think we are worth. It’s a lot easier to blame the world than it is to accept the truth about ourselves. If deep down inside you think there is something wrong with you then you will find yourself settling for just about anyone who shows interest in you that comes your way.

We find ourselves thinking that people in general just suck when it’s really our low self esteem that is the cause of our misery. It’s what makes us settle for the people who do not value us and treat us the way we should be treated. If you don’t think you deserve to be treated with love and respect then why should anyone else?

If deep down you believe that you’re too fat, too stupid, too ugly or just unworthy, for whatever reason, you are not going to attract the right people into your life. The kind of healthy, well adjusted people that we should all be looking for are out there for you if you believe you are worth their love.

Come on people, it’s not about those kinds of things anyway. You don’t have to be a card carrying member of the Mensa Society who looks like a super model to be worthy of love and respect You just have to value yourself and believe that you are worthy of it.

Dig down and find some good things about yourself and focus and build on that. If you can’t find a few good things about yourself then honestly you shouldn’t even be considering a relationship with someone else. In that case it’s time to do some serious soul searching and self work and perhaps find a good therapist to help you work through your issues. No one is going to save you but yourself. You can’t look for someone who brings out the best in you without believing that the best is already inside you somewhere.

Single Soldiers

Between the ages of 18 and 22 I lived in an area of Southern California that had several Military Bases. When my friends and I would go to one of the larger local dance clubs we felt like meat on a slab. All those lonely soldiers would vie for our attention. The problem was that we weren’t there looking men. Most of us already had boyfriends. We just wanted to drink, dance in our little group and have a lot of fun. No offense to the Soldiers, but after a while it became a drag having to turn them down constantly.

In today’s world it would have been easy for those Soldiers to have actually brought a date to the club. These days all a lonely Soldier needs to do is join a Dating Site specifically for Single Soldiers and singles interested in meeting them. Not to mention that a deployed Soldier can utilize the Virtual Dating features on a site like to locate and go on a virtual date with singles located anywhere  in the world.

It is my hope that there will be less lonely Soldiers in this world. Our Soldiers sacrifice a lot for us, sometimes everything, so they deserve to find love and be happy. So, to any Soldier reading this, I thank you for your service and I truly hope that I can help you to find the love of your life!

Need a Date for Valentine’s Day?

Ah, Valentine’s Day, a day when millions of singles are made to feel even more lonely than they usually do.  There’s nothing like this holiday when it comes to being reminded by commercials, candy displays in stores and friends and co-workers talking about their plans with their dates for the big night.

Well there is absolutely no reason you should be  alone  for this year’s holiday or any Valentines Day in the future.  If you are, then it’s your own fault. I’ve been hammering at you since the day I started this blog to just take the plunge and join a Dating Site.  Just joining one isn’t enough either.  If you’re going to do it then do it right.  Put up your picture, fully fill out your profile and try contacting a few people every week until you find the right one.

I remember back in my younger days that I felt like a total loser whenever I was single on Valentine’s Day. There is no reason to feel like a pathetic loser for being single. What you should be feeling instead, is resolve. Resolve to be in a happy and healthy relationship by this time next year.  If you’re unhappy being along then do something about it and change it.

Even if you don’t have time to make a real date with someone perhaps you could set up a virtual date.  Anyone who has ever gone out to dinner anywhere decent on V-Day knows what I’m talking about when I say that sometimes actual Valentine’s dates can be a nightmare of over crowded restaurants and bars.  It’s my opinion that a Virtual Date can be just as good or even better than a real one in this case.

Another angle to look at here is that this time of year people do tend to be a little more lonely so it’s a really good time to contact people on Dating Sites. A lot of people are checking in on them more often in the hopes that someone has tried to contact them.  Why not be the one making the contact? Does it get more romantic than meeting the love of your life on Valentine’s Day?  One thing’s for sure, you will always remember the day you met each other.

As always, all of the Online Dating Sites listed at the top of this page offer Mobile Dating as well as Virtual Dating and of course real dating.  You can also check out my newest Dating Site  Thirties Love and remember that all dating sites are not the same.

Also remember the number one secret to dating success, HAVE FUN on your dates, even the dreaded first date!  Happy hunting and don’t dodge Cupid’s arrows!

2011 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Being Overly Picky

We’ve all known, or at least heard about, someone who is always single because they just can’t find that perfect person to settle down with.   Often times those people have a mother or friend who is exasperated by their perpetual need to be over choosey.

I’ve read articles urging these people to ease up on the quest for perfection and consider settling for someone less than perfect for them.  If you ask me I think that is horrible advice!  It’s like I always say, when it’s right you know it!  The key word here is YOU know it, not your mother and certainly not your friends.  The path you take in life is yours and yours alone and no one else should even feel that they can make such personal decisions for you.  

That said, we’ve all also known or heard about those people who are overly picky yet they whine about being perpetually single.   I say be patient with them. Some of us have a burning desire to find our Soul Mate and until we find them we aren’t going to live in peace.  The problem is that sometimes these people expect chance, fate or god to deliver their perfect match to them.  They keep waiting for that chance meeting at the grocery store or in some bar.  Well I’m here to tell you that sometimes it just doesn’t work like that.

Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and actively seek out that special someone.  Sure, it’s possible to meet someone by chance and it happens all the time but tell me something here… How long have you been waiting?  Why not get out there and actually date people?  I’m not going to tell you it will happen fast and I’m not going to tell you will happen slowly. Heck, I’m not even going to tell you will happen at all but what I can tell you is that you may as well get out and date and have fun while you’re looking!

If you’re lonely and searching for that special someone put away that silly pride of yours and join a dating site (like the ones listed at the top of this page) and start doing something about it!   How often in life do things just fall into our lap?  As adults we know we usually have to work to have good things. We go to college to get a good job.  We save money to buy a house.  We work for almost everything we get in life so why should you think about love any differently?

It’s also very possible that your overly picky tendency is there because you aren’t meant to be with anyone at all. Perhaps your path is one to walked alone. Some people live their whole lives single and yet they’ve found happiness anyway.

If the idea of a life spent single makes you panic a little then I would suggest that you stop waiting and start dating!  Honestly, let’s get down to brass tacks here, there’s no one stopping you but you yourself.


Soul Mates

It seems that everyone is looking for their Soul Mate yet not everyone agrees on what a Soul Mate actually is.  Some people believe that their Soul Mate is someone that god created to be with them. Others believe their Soul Mate is another Soul that has shared many lives with them through reincarnations.  My personal belief is that we can actually have many Soul Mates throughout our existence.  Not only do I feel that my husband is a Soul Mate but also many close friends over the years have been Soul Mates. Heck, I even think those who have broken my heart the hardest were Soul Mates. I am actually grateful for those heart breaks because they made me appreciate the right one when he came into my life. 

You see, I believe that my husband is my primary Soul Mate where as the other people who have touched my life in profound ways have been Soul Mates as well.  I guess I believe in destiny on more levels than just romance.   I believe that even people who break our hearts may have been predestined to do so.  It’s my belief that life is a series of lessons and we learn  those lessons from many, many people that we interact with over our life times. So to me Soul Mates are not just about romance but about human relationships and all the different kinds of love and lessons in this life.

That said, I will now focus on the kind of Soul Mate that relates to my Blog. It is, after all, a Blog about Romance and finding love.  As those of you who have followed my Blog from the beginning know I met my husband on the internet and it was sort of a “love BEFORE first site” kind of meeting.  To say it was a whirlwind romance is putting it mildly.  I met him on a Friday night and after a few days of messaging and talking on the phone we set a date for the following Friday. Then just two Fridays later I moved in with him and we were married just four months later.  I know, I know, it sounds completely insane but sometimes you just KNOW.

How did we know?  Well, for one thing when I met him I honestly felt like I was meeting another part of myself.  It was the strangest feeling that I had never felt before and have not felt since.  It was as if we were the same person that had been living two separate lives up to that point and now that we had met we would be living just one life together. Meeting him felt like I had found my home in this world.  Words cannot do it justice but I think I’m getting my point across.

When I look back on that meeting 11 years ago I am just astounded.  There I was in Los Angeles growing up and doing my thing while my Soul Mate was in Salt Lake City growing up and doing his thing.  It just astounds that the Internet was able to allow us to cross paths.  I mean, talk about strange!  Without it we would have never met.  Not only is Salt Lake City hundreds of miles from Los Angeles but it’s worlds away in culture!  We would have never met if we hadn’t both been open to change and using new avenues to meet people.

So, to those of you who are lonely and searching for your Soul Mate I say be open to different ways to find them.  Perhaps they aren’t even living in the city or state you are living in.  Don’t rule out using the Internet and Online Dating.  Isn’t it possible that, like mine, your Soul Mate could live in a different city?  My advice to you is to use the chat feature on Dating Sites.  They’re full of people looking for the same thing you are.  My second piece of advice will seem to contradict my first piece of advice but trust me it really doesn’t: When you are in those chat rooms just relax, have fun and don’t actively pursue anyone in there until you get to know them a little bit first.  Do a little bit of playing hard to get during those first few hours of meeting. It will make you immensely more attractive, I promise.  So just hang out in chat, make some friends and see what comes your way. Then after meet someone that way you should seriously try doing some Virtual Dating, you will love it, I swear!     :-)

If you aren’t currently a member of a Dating Site that offers Chat as well as Virtual Dating you may want to check out the links at the top of this page. All of the sites listed offer those as well as other features… Thanks!


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