This post is about something a lot of singles do when it comes to dating, the tendency to over think things.
Women especially can fall victim to the over thinking monster and that really is what it can be, a monster. We can take a simple statement and turn it into a million things. Wondering what he meant when he said that he didn’t like ice cream much. What did he mean when he said he didn’t like ice cream? Why would he say that? Is he saying I’m fat? No, maybe he just doesn’t like ice cream? Is he saying he thinks I’m cold? Is he saying we’ll never get along because I like ice cream? I wonder if he was hurt by someone when he was eating ice cream?
Okay, so this is a silly example but I think it makes the point that something so simple can be used for hours of self torture and obsessive behavior. It can be turned into all sorts of fuel for a neurotic inner dialogue when maybe, just maybe, he meant exactly what he said and he really just doesn’t like ice cream much!
I think when it comes to relationships some of us are just so freaked out that we grasp at straws and try to make something out of nothing. We’re so afraid of being rejected that we’re on the look out for any little sign that we’re going to get hurt. There’s a line in song called Breathe by Taylor Swift that says “every little bump in the road, I try to swerve.” I think that line perfectly describes what I’m trying to say here.
What we really need to do, instead of swerving like a drunken fool in a demolition derby, is learn to follow our gut instinct when it comes to relationships. You have a little voice inside. You may think you don’t but you do. It’s just that it can be really hard to hear because it just whispers while the over thinking monster screams a thousand things in an attempt to drown that little voice out.
Sometimes our instincts are telling us that a relationship with a person is a really bad idea but we never hear it because we’re busy distracting ourselves over the fact that he doesn’t like ice cream much. Sometimes our instincts are telling us that this is a person we could spend the rest of our life with but we drown it out by over thinking it because getting real with ourselves isn’t something we’re ready to do yet.
Do yourself a favor and teach yourself to go with the flow and stop over thinking every little thing. Let that little voice guide you and you can’t go wrong. Even if you end up getting hurt. What? Yes, even if you end up getting hurt. Sometimes we need to follow a certain path even if the path leads us to a broken heart. There are lessons in every relationship you have and if you just learn to follow that little voice inside every lesson you learn will be a healthy and valuable one that will lead to the right person.
Remember the trick is to stop over thinking and listen for the little voice instead. It may take some time to find it but it’s there.