Good Luck!

The reality is that when it comes to love and relationships, we will only get what we think we are worth. It’s a lot easier to blame the world than it is to accept the truth about ourselves. If deep down inside you think there is something wrong with you then you will find yourself settling for just about anyone who shows interest in you that comes your way.

We find ourselves thinking that people in general just suck when it’s really our low self esteem that is the cause of our misery. It’s what makes us settle for the people who do not value us and treat us the way we should be treated. If you don’t think you deserve to be treated with love and respect then why should anyone else?

If deep down you believe that you’re too fat, too stupid, too ugly or just unworthy, for whatever reason, you are not going to attract the right people into your life. The kind of healthy, well adjusted people that we should all be looking for are out there for you if you believe you are worth their love.

Come on people, it’s not about those kinds of things anyway. You don’t have to be a card carrying member of the Mensa Society who looks like a super model to be worthy of love and respect You just have to value yourself and believe that you are worthy of it.

Dig down and find some good things about yourself and focus and build on that. If you can’t find a few good things about yourself then honestly you shouldn’t even be considering a relationship with someone else. In that case it’s time to do some serious soul searching and self work and perhaps find a good therapist to help you work through your issues. No one is going to save you but yourself. You can’t look for someone who brings out the best in you without believing that the best is already inside you somewhere.

In today’s world it would have been easy for those Soldiers to have actually brought a date to the club. These days all a lonely Soldier needs to do is join a Dating Site specifically for Single Soldiers and singles interested in meeting them. Not to mention that a deployed Soldier can utilize the Virtual Dating features on a site like Soldier2Love.com to locate and go on a virtual date with singles located anywhere  in the world.

It is my hope that there will be less lonely Soldiers in this world. Our Soldiers sacrifice a lot for us, sometimes everything, so they deserve to find love and be happy. So, to any Soldier reading this, I thank you for your service and I truly hope that I can help you to find the love of your life!

Well there is absolutely no reason you should be  alone  for this year’s holiday or any Valentines Day in the future.  If you are, then it’s your own fault. I’ve been hammering at you since the day I started this blog to just take the plunge and join a Dating Site.  Just joining one isn’t enough either.  If you’re going to do it then do it right.  Put up your picture, fully fill out your profile and try contacting a few people every week until you find the right one.

I remember back in my younger days that I felt like a total loser whenever I was single on Valentine’s Day. There is no reason to feel like a pathetic loser for being single. What you should be feeling instead, is resolve. Resolve to be in a happy and healthy relationship by this time next year.  If you’re unhappy being along then do something about it and change it.

Even if you don’t have time to make a real date with someone perhaps you could set up a virtual date.  Anyone who has ever gone out to dinner anywhere decent on V-Day knows what I’m talking about when I say that sometimes actual Valentine’s dates can be a nightmare of over crowded restaurants and bars.  It’s my opinion that a Virtual Date can be just as good or even better than a real one in this case.

Another angle to look at here is that this time of year people do tend to be a little more lonely so it’s a really good time to contact people on Dating Sites. A lot of people are checking in on them more often in the hopes that someone has tried to contact them.  Why not be the one making the contact? Does it get more romantic than meeting the love of your life on Valentine’s Day?  One thing’s for sure, you will always remember the day you met each other.

As always, all of the Online Dating Sites listed at the top of this page offer Mobile Dating as well as Virtual Dating and of course real dating.  You can also check out my newest Dating Site  Thirties Love and remember that all dating sites are not the same.

Also remember the number one secret to dating success, HAVE FUN on your dates, even the dreaded first date!  Happy hunting and don’t dodge Cupid’s arrows!

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

I’ve read articles urging these people to ease up on the quest for perfection and consider settling for someone less than perfect for them.  If you ask me I think that is horrible advice!  It’s like I always say, when it’s right you know it!  The key word here is YOU know it, not your mother and certainly not your friends.  The path you take in life is yours and yours alone and no one else should even feel that they can make such personal decisions for you.  

That said, we’ve all also known or heard about those people who are overly picky yet they whine about being perpetually single.   I say be patient with them. Some of us have a burning desire to find our Soul Mate and until we find them we aren’t going to live in peace.  The problem is that sometimes these people expect chance, fate or god to deliver their perfect match to them.  They keep waiting for that chance meeting at the grocery store or in some bar.  Well I’m here to tell you that sometimes it just doesn’t work like that.

Sometimes you have to take the bull by the horns and actively seek out that special someone.  Sure, it’s possible to meet someone by chance and it happens all the time but tell me something here… How long have you been waiting?  Why not get out there and actually date people?  I’m not going to tell you it will happen fast and I’m not going to tell you will happen slowly. Heck, I’m not even going to tell you will happen at all but what I can tell you is that you may as well get out and date and have fun while you’re looking!

If you’re lonely and searching for that special someone put away that silly pride of yours and join a dating site (like the ones listed at the top of this page) and start doing something about it!   How often in life do things just fall into our lap?  As adults we know we usually have to work to have good things. We go to college to get a good job.  We save money to buy a house.  We work for almost everything we get in life so why should you think about love any differently?

It’s also very possible that your overly picky tendency is there because you aren’t meant to be with anyone at all. Perhaps your path is one to walked alone. Some people live their whole lives single and yet they’ve found happiness anyway.

If the idea of a life spent single makes you panic a little then I would suggest that you stop waiting and start dating!  Honestly, let’s get down to brass tacks here, there’s no one stopping you but you yourself.

You see, I believe that my husband is my primary Soul Mate where as the other people who have touched my life in profound ways have been Soul Mates as well.  I guess I believe in destiny on more levels than just romance.   I believe that even people who break our hearts may have been predestined to do so.  It’s my belief that life is a series of lessons and we learn  those lessons from many, many people that we interact with over our life times. So to me Soul Mates are not just about romance but about human relationships and all the different kinds of love and lessons in this life.

That said, I will now focus on the kind of Soul Mate that relates to my Blog. It is, after all, a Blog about Romance and finding love.  As those of you who have followed my Blog from the beginning know I met my husband on the internet and it was sort of a “love BEFORE first site” kind of meeting.  To say it was a whirlwind romance is putting it mildly.  I met him on a Friday night and after a few days of messaging and talking on the phone we set a date for the following Friday. Then just two Fridays later I moved in with him and we were married just four months later.  I know, I know, it sounds completely insane but sometimes you just KNOW.

How did we know?  Well, for one thing when I met him I honestly felt like I was meeting another part of myself.  It was the strangest feeling that I had never felt before and have not felt since.  It was as if we were the same person that had been living two separate lives up to that point and now that we had met we would be living just one life together. Meeting him felt like I had found my home in this world.  Words cannot do it justice but I think I’m getting my point across.

When I look back on that meeting 11 years ago I am just astounded.  There I was in Los Angeles growing up and doing my thing while my Soul Mate was in Salt Lake City growing up and doing his thing.  It just astounds that the Internet was able to allow us to cross paths.  I mean, talk about strange!  Without it we would have never met.  Not only is Salt Lake City hundreds of miles from Los Angeles but it’s worlds away in culture!  We would have never met if we hadn’t both been open to change and using new avenues to meet people.

So, to those of you who are lonely and searching for your Soul Mate I say be open to different ways to find them.  Perhaps they aren’t even living in the city or state you are living in.  Don’t rule out using the Internet and Online Dating.  Isn’t it possible that, like mine, your Soul Mate could live in a different city?  My advice to you is to use the chat feature on Dating Sites.  They’re full of people looking for the same thing you are.  My second piece of advice will seem to contradict my first piece of advice but trust me it really doesn’t: When you are in those chat rooms just relax, have fun and don’t actively pursue anyone in there until you get to know them a little bit first.  Do a little bit of playing hard to get during those first few hours of meeting. It will make you immensely more attractive, I promise.  So just hang out in chat, make some friends and see what comes your way. Then after meet someone that way you should seriously try doing some Virtual Dating, you will love it, I swear!    

If you aren’t currently a member of a Dating Site that offers Chat as well as Virtual Dating you may want to check out the links at the top of this page. All of the sites listed offer those as well as other features… Thanks!

True love continues to grow and evolve.

Then I met my husband and it was a lot different.  When I met him it felt like I had met myself.  We were a lot alike without putting any effort into it at all.  In my mind, and his, we were almost the same exact person.   It really felt as though we had met some kind of extension of ourselves, as if we literally met our other half.   All we could see were the things we had in common. It took us about 3 years to realize that we were two individual people with different likes, dislikes, interests and upbringings.  I know that sounds strange and maybe it is, but I’ve spoken to a lot of other happily married couples and quite a few of them have told me it was the same for them.  Maybe it’s a soul mate thing, I don’t know, but in my experience it sure felt like it.

I’ve had platonic friendships that came close to this but without the chemistry of a love affair.  I’m sure many of you have met friends in your life who you’ve hit it off with and shared many things in common with.  Sometimes you meet a friend and become instantly inseparable because you get along so well.  That’s not so different from what I’m talking about here except the stakes are much higher when the chemistry is right.

I know when I met my husband I was scared to death to admit to myself that I was in love with him almost instantly.  When feelings run that deep there is a lot on the line.  Lesser (or maybe smarter?) people might have run away screaming with the flood of emotions I felt for him.  Instead of running I faced those feelings and laid it all out for him. I told him that I was in love with him and that my heart was in his hands.  Lucky for me he felt the same way but deep down in my soul I KNEW he felt the same. Honestly, I don’t think running away screaming was ever an option. We were both stuck like glue because the pain of even walking away would have been too great.

So if you ever find yourself in a relationship wondering if you’re in love you can bet the answer to the question is no.  Real love hits you like a ton of bricks and there is no doubt  about it.  Another thing that was different from the past was that I had NO doubts about it at all. Not a single hesitation.  There was no little nagging voice that filled my head with doubts.  Even the down right petrified fear of giving my heart so fully did not create any doubt in my mind.  Yes I was scared but no, I did not doubt for even a moment that he was the right one. 

So in my experience, the old cliché is true… When it’s right you know it.

As for WHERE to meet the right one, there are links to several Dating Sites at the top of this page.  Why not give one a try? Your  Soul Mate might be there waiting for you.