Dating In Your Forties

July 30, 2011 — americancurvygirl

For a few weeks now I’ve been doing some research on dating in your forties and what I’ve seen can be very discouraging.  There are rants about it on Craigs List and negativity about it abounds.  I just don’t get it. It must be that those who find love and happiness after forty don’t run around posting about it on the internet. Although, quite a few of the Love Stories that I’ve posted on this blog were about people in their late thirties and forties.

Yes, it’s absolutely true that you can find love even after forty.  I honestly don’t think it’s any more difficult than finding love at any other age.   Maybe it’s that too many people are set in their ways or locked into certain behaviors and preferences so it’s more difficult for them to mesh with new people.  I think the reality is that most of us actually grow more patient as we age and it’s just a noisy minority of people who write about their negative experiences with dating after forty.

Sure having kids can make it more difficult and seems to put more on the line when it comes to relationships.  Most responsible parents want to protect their children from heart-break and feelings of abandonment in the event that the relationship doesn’t work out.  There are those times when you bring someone around that you’re casually dating and the kids seem to bond with them more than you do and it’s probably a good idea to try to avoid that. Also, as a parent you have less time to go out on dates.  You can’t just agree to a Friday night date on the spot because you need to work out a sitter or attend your kid’s soccer game.

How do you get around these kinds of things?  Well, you can start by joining an online dating site and getting to know people online before you get to know them in person.  Using the telephone and email is a lot easier for those of us with limited time and the need to protect our children’s hearts.  At FortiesLove.com  you can also use the Virtual Dating feature to have a few dates online before you even talk on the phone.  It’s easy to sit down at your computer while the kids are in bed or out doing whatever it is kids do and get to know perspective dates without any hassle. There’s also Mobile Dating available there so you can search or interact with singles while you’re on the go.

While you’re meeting perspective dates in the virtual realm you can find out what a person is about and what it is they are looking for.  You can get to know them in a totally relaxed environment without the nerves of a real first date. Then if you decide you do like them, your first in person date will go much more smoothly because you already know the person you’re going out with. 

Okay, now that we’ve covered how to meet other singles, we’ll discuss something else I came across in my research.  I found that a lot of men complain that women in their forties are too motherly for them. They want a woman who is mature but still able to cut loose and have fun.  This is another complaint that I just don’t get.  I am 42 years old and most of my friends are either in their forties or they’re pushing it hard.  Not a single one of us is “motherly” to people other than our own children.  We still have a sense of fun and like to laugh and be silly. I’m always telling people that I’m 42 going on fourteen and it’s true!   Well on second thought, I do have a couple of friends that take life too seriously but ya know what? They ALWAYS did that.  Maybe you guys are just meeting those kinds of women.  Come on, we all know those people who are just too serious. It’s not even just women, there are lots of men like that too and it has to do more with personality than age.

So if you meet someone online who just seems too serious for you just move on to the next one. It’s a lot easier than going out on an actual date.  There will be no awkward moment at the end of your virtual date where you’re worried they will try to kiss you or expect you to kiss them and there won’t be any screening of your calls for the next week or two.   That goes for every complaint you can come up with.  If someone is not a good match for you then move on and find someone who is.  People these days seem to think that finding a romantic partner should be like buying peanut butter.  There are way more choices out there than creamy or chunky so keep looking until you find the one that works for you!

If you’re in your forties and read this and realized that you’ve become too serious, lighten up and have some fun! Plan dates that will bring out your fun side. Go rent bikes or go roller skating.  Go to an amusement park or go out dancing.  Dating should be fun so you can truly relax and get to know each other in your natural, relaxed, state.  Going out to dinner is fine too but why not save that for another date?  I have always hated eating on a first date. I feel so on the spot and self-conscious and that is NOT a natural state for me!  What is a natural state for me is dripping salsa or something greasy across my lap and chest while I’m nervously eating. Yes, I am a clutz and it’s much more enjoyable to fall on my butt roller skating than it is to spend the rest of my date with a big stain on my shirt. Stop being so worried about acting foolish and remember, you’re in your forties not your seventies. You’re still young enough to go out and play in the sunshine.

If you are one of those serious people don’t feel bad. It’s just who you are and there are other serious people out there for you. Heck you may even find a silly person that you click with.  I’m a life long silly person who’s been married to a serious man for 11 years now!  It’s just a matter of knowing what you want or being open to people who are different than you are. Love is a complex emotion based on many different factors.  It’s down right unexplainable really.  Just get out there and keep looking until you find the one that makes your heart go pitter patter. If you’re relaxed and patient (as I know all you old farts can be) you will find it…. Yeah, that’s right. I called you an old fart. What are you going to do about it, huh? Nothing, because I’ve already skated away… Neener, neener, neener!

 

A note about FortiesLove.com,  It can be used for finding people of any age.  You can choose to set it for any age group 18 and up so if you’re in your forties and are open to dating younger or older people you will not be limited to people in their forties. Also, if you’ve packed on some poundage as you’ve gotten older there’s also CurvyLove.com and that’s full of people looking for women with big curves.

 

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Go With The Flow

July 22, 2011 — americancurvygirl
Ice Cream Dessert

Image via Wikipedia

  This post is about something a lot of  singles do when it comes to dating, the tendency to over think things.

  Women especially can fall victim to the over thinking monster and that really is what it can be, a monster.  We can take a simple statement and turn it into a million things. Wondering what he meant when he said that he didn’t like ice cream much. What did he mean when he said he didn’t like ice cream? Why would he say that? Is he saying I’m fat?  No, maybe he just doesn’t like ice cream? Is he saying he thinks I’m cold? Is he saying we’ll never get along because I like ice cream? I wonder if he was hurt by someone when he was eating ice cream?

  Okay, so this is a silly example but I think it makes the point that something so simple can be used for hours of self torture and obsessive behavior. It can be turned into all sorts of fuel for a neurotic inner dialogue when maybe, just maybe, he meant exactly what he said and he really just doesn’t like ice cream much!

  I think when it comes to relationships some of us are just so freaked out that we grasp at straws and try to make something out of nothing.  We’re so afraid of being rejected that we’re on the look out for any little sign that we’re going to get hurt.  There’s a line in song called Breathe by Taylor Swift that says  “every little bump in the road, I try to swerve.”  I think that line perfectly describes what I’m trying to say here. 

  What we really need to do, instead of swerving like a drunken fool in a demolition derby, is learn to follow our gut instinct when it comes to relationships.  You have a little voice inside. You may think you don’t but you do. It’s just that it can be really hard to hear because it just whispers while the over thinking monster screams a thousand things in an attempt to drown that little voice out. 

  Sometimes our instincts are telling us that a relationship with a person is a really bad idea but we never hear it because we’re busy distracting ourselves over the fact that he doesn’t like ice cream much.  Sometimes our instincts are telling us that this is a person we could spend the rest of our life with but we drown it out by over thinking it because getting real with ourselves  isn’t something we’re ready to do yet.

  Do yourself a favor and teach yourself to go with the flow and stop over thinking every little thing.  Let that little voice guide you and you can’t go wrong.  Even if you end up getting hurt.  What? Yes, even if you end up getting hurt.  Sometimes we need to follow a certain path even if the path leads us to a broken heart.  There are lessons in every relationship you have and if you just learn to follow that little voice inside every lesson you learn will be a healthy and valuable one that will lead to the right person.

  Remember the trick is to stop over thinking and listen for the little voice instead. It may take some time to find it but it’s there. 

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The Skinny On BBW’s

July 13, 2011 — americancurvygirl

Over the years I’ve owned and promoted several online dating sites. These dating sites usually have a niche. Some are geared toward the Military singles and their admirers, Some are for Police and Firemen singles and their admirers. In fact I have had several different kinds of Online Dating Sites.  My favorite Online Dating Site is and always has been my BBW site CurvyLove.com. Why you wonder? Well not only am I not a skinny girl myself but online BBW dating turns the biggest profit! That’s right girls, men will pay to find a beautiful girl with a nice rounded, soft and squishy body,  just like yours.

The world of online dating promotion can be a tough one. It seems shocking that BBW dating is where the money is but the truth is that it is so popular that the market it actually over saturated.  There are too many BBW sites out there competing for your dollars. It can be rough getting a new BBW site off the ground because Sites like CurvyLove.com have been around for so many years and already have so many members finding success, that it’s rough to compete with them.

Whenever I run into some mean spirited Neanderthal who thinks an attractive woman’s body should resemble a 12 year old boy’s body I make it a point to tell him what I do for a living and where the money is. They’re always shocked and appalled and I always tell them to get with modern times. The days of boy hips and visible abs on a woman being attractive are over for most people, if they ever even really existed.  Hollywood and the fashion industry are the last two hold outs for anorexia being a part of the beauty standard but guess what? The public in general seems to be moving past that woman hating trend.

Curves are where it’s at. A look into modern day high schools will show you that. All across America you see cheer leaders who are bigger and curvier than they were just 10 years ago. Gone are the days where a girl was treated as an outcast, no matter how pretty she was, just because she was bigger than a size 8. Now days big girls can be considered pretty and even be popular if they just take care of themselves and carry themselves with confidence.

Some people also like to say we aren’t healthy. The truth is that medical science is starting to see that being “fit” does not automatically mean someone is healthy. More and more studies and articles are starting to show that weight does not necessarily have anything to do with being healthy. There are big people out there that are more healthy than thin people.  I’ve always had healthy cholesterol levels and normal blood pressure and most certainly not all of my thin friends can say that!

I believe that in time Hollywood will catch up with the rest of us. The success of actresses like Kate Winslet will eventually get to them. Kate is by NO means a big girl but she absolutely refuses to starve herself into a size zero and it has not hurt her career at all. Hollywood already accepts a bigger black woman and has for a long time. I think the reason for that is because the bigger black women who make it in Hollywood carry themselves with confidence and refuse to be put down and considered less of a person because of their size.

The rest of us should learn from them. I’m no less attractive or important than that woman in the bathroom bringing up the contents of her lunch. I’m no less attractive or important than that woman who lives at the gym trying to burn off every calorie she can. I am as attractive and important as I want to be so long as I can see my own beauty and value. No one in this world has the power to make me feel less about myself and the sooner we all start to see ourselves in this way the more the world will have to step aside and let us big girls shine no matter what the color of our skin is.

The truth is that people who judge others harshly do it because they themselves are insecure and putting others down is nothing but a lame attempt to bring themselves up. Why, why, WHY would any of us ever want to listen to someone like that? I say let them go on feeling and acting small because we will come out big and take over the world.  

(Note to the thin women out there. I do not mean to offend you in any way. You must take into consideration the fact that society has a way of making bigger girls feel unworthy and it’s about time we consider ALL people of ALL sizes valuable members of society. If you took offense to any of this I am sorry but everything I said is the truth as I see it. A size zero may be natural to a few women but most women have to suffer to achieve it.)

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Love Is Interracial

July 9, 2011 — americancurvygirl

The newest link I’ve added to my blog is  LoveIsInterracial.com.  If you think about it, love is not about the color of your skin.  Love comes from the heart.  It’s about attraction, a certain spark or chemistry and people’s race or culture really does not matter.  If the attraction is there then that’s all that matters and thankfully in our world today, most people seem to value love more than they value the old ways of thinking. 

I actually admire couples from days gone by who were strong enough to stand  up and love who they loved even if they were different colors and society frowned upon it.  I have a cousin who was with a black man in the 1970′s and 80′s and had children with him.  My grandparents, who were old Texans who’d migrated to California during the dust bowl, could have very easily “disowned” her and her children and anyone would have thought they would, but they didn’t.  Even though it seemed like something they could never accept they took it all in stride as much as they could.  They loved their granddaughter and their great grand children just as much as they loved the rest of us.  Perhaps it was this example that helped me have the opinion I have today on interracial couples.  I watched my cousins little girl grow up. Seeing her pictures and seeing her every few years and I always thought she was, by far, the prettiest girl in our family.

When I had a child of my own she was 14 years old by the time I realized something kind of bizarre.  Throughout her life her best friends were always mixed race.  Honestly I thought so little about it that it took me that long to notice.  I might have gone my entire life without ever noticing if the kids in the small town we now live in, weren’t harassing my daughter’s best friend for “being half black.”   They would say things in front of her about other black kids being thieves and thugs then say to her “Oh well, not you, we know you and we know you aren’t like that.”  After she got offended and stood up for herself they got even worse.  As accepting as the world is today about interracial couples there are still ignorant people out there who choose to hate because they don’t understand love and they just can’t seem to accept that the world is moving past the old ways of thinking about race.

When my daughter was in the first grade I was driving her home from school one day and out of the blue she asked me what I would do if when she was older she brought home a black boyfriend.  After being shocked about such a grown up thought from such a small child, I answered that I didn’t care what color he was so long and he treated her with love and respect and I meant it.

Here’s the way I see it. None of us choose what we are attracted to. We also don’t choose what repulses us.  Those things come from something deep inside our brains.  I like men with dark hair. I don’t like men with blonde eyelashes. I like men who are very intelligent. I don’t like men with bubble butts that walk kind of leaned forward, lol.  I did not sit down one day and tell myself that these were going to be the things that attract me or repulse me.  It just kind of happened. I don’t think attraction is a choice.  I think certain things just appeal to us and if we want to be happy we have no choice but follow our hearts.  I think that people sometimes live their lives in fear of being judged so they turn it around and judge everyone around them instead. I also believe that sometimes people let society choose for them.  I’m sure there are lots of people out there who have been attracted to someone from another race but they chose to ignore it for fear of being  judged.  To me that is very sad because we need to let love be our guide not hatred and racism.

To the people out there like my cousin I say good for you! Good for you for standing up to society and loving the people you love and ignoring the haters!  To the black men and women out there who choose to love white men and women even though some people from your community judge you harshly I say stand up for what you love and don’t let them bring you down.  Sure, I understand being proud of your race but racism is racism from both directions and it’s just not right. Love is love and the color of our skin should have nothing to do with it. So stand up and do what is in your heart because you are better than they are. You are more evolved because you see love not hate and that my friends is a beautiful thing no matter how much some people try to make it ugly. 

www.LoveIsInterracial.com

 

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How To Attract A Good Woman

July 6, 2011 — americancurvygirl

I hear it all the time,  Single men are constantly telling me they can’t find a good woman.  They tell me they only attract the crazy ones, or the crazy ugly ones, or the crazy losers.  I’m not going to spend this post telling you where to meet them. I think I’ve covered that but I will say it just one more time. There are links to good, quality, honest and feature loaded dating sites at the top of this page.  Even if you browse singles and don’t see anyone you’re interested in today, keep checking back because your dream girl could join at any time.

Okay, that’s out of the way, so let’s get down to it boys.  If you want to attract and keep a good stable woman…………..you have to be a good stable man.  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Your friend “Joe” has a good stable woman and he’s a douche.  Well what you don’t realize is that either that good stable woman is seriously flawed, and they aren’t telling you, or he’s about to turn her into one of those psycho chicks you keep running into.

Now, when I say you have to be a good stable man I don’t mean that you have to be rich. I just mean you need to be decently employed or in school studying for your stable future.  Don’t get all up in arms at me thinking a good woman would look past all that, blah blah blah. No, I’m sorry but good stable people are good stable people because they demand certain qualities in life and in the people around them.  When I say qualities I don’t mean money necessarily. It could mean ethics, religion, ambition or even just pride. Proud people don’t live on their friends couches. You don’t have to be super successful in your career to get the girl either.  You just have to have a serious life plan and  be working toward your goals. That’s usually good enough. 

Decent, smart, stable women are attracted to men who share those same qualities.  Think about it guys, no one wants to end up supporting some guy who can’t keep a job or take care of himself. Do you really blame us for that?  Just show us that you’re capable of keeping a decent job and pulling your own weight and most of us are happy campers. Sure there are plenty of gold diggers out there but we’re talking about GOOD women here, not prostitutes who hide behind  wife/girl friend labels.

Another thing is you need to demand that she be good and decent.  If you’re dating a girl and she starts to show signs of being crazy or a liar,  get away fast and move on. Don’t stick around for the great crazy chick sex either, just get out quickly before you get even more tangled up in her drama.  Then look back and ask yourself some honest questions.  Did you cause her to get crazy by cheating? Did you do something to bring out her insecurities? Were you hyper critical of her? If every single woman you date turns out to be crazy you may want to examine these questions, and more, a little more deeply.

Something else you may be thinking about is what if you get the good woman then lose your job? Would she leave you if you weren’t able to find another one quickly? Usually not but I can’t promise you that every woman who seems good truly is good.  I can just tell you that when I met my husband, he happened to be making good money.  I say “happened” because honestly I didn’t care what a man made so long as I wasn’t having to support him.  Anyway, with the economy the way it’s been for the last 10+ years (I’m starting that back at the dot com crash that hit us so hard) he has never been able to make that kind of money since.  There have been years, yes years, where he wasn’t able to find decent work.  I worked and carried us through those times and at no point did I ever even consider divorce because I knew he wasn’t a  loser and eventually he’d find something and of course he did.

So you see, a good man attracted and held onto a good woman even through the worst  financial stresses.  Love grows strongest through stability.  The romanticized stuff about hard times bringing you closer is a load of poop because for most people hard times cause a huge strain on the relationship.  I think that’s partly why smart stable women demand stable men.  I find it highly interesting that stable men don’t always demand stability in women but then again, that’s your problem here isn’t it????

Just in case there are some women reading this, the same goes for you sister. Get your act together BEFORE you look for a man and you’ll be amazed just how stable a man you can find.

Say it with me people, and say it until it’s ingrained into your brains: STABILITY IS SEXY!  INSTABILITY IS YUCKY!   STABILITY IS SEXY!  INSTABILITY IS YUCKY!  STABILITY IS SEXY!  INSTABILITY IS YUCKY!

If you are already a good stable man then focus on the part of this that said to demand stability in your women.  Show some confidence! You’re a good stable man and that makes you a great catch!   Demand a good quality woman and leave the crazies to the douches out there who deserve the drama!

So get your life together then go out there and find yourself some love and happiness because after you do all that work you will deserve nothing but the best right?  Right.

Disclaimer: All women have hormones. All women are allowed to be slightly crazy for one week a month.  Unless you are dealing with a menopausal woman. She is entitled to a few years of craziness and really, by the time that comes around you must forgive her for it after all she has done for you. :-P

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Horror Story: Kissimmee Kelly & The Potty Mouth Lobster Boy

July 1, 2011 — americancurvygirl

I had some nice conversations with a man I met on Facebook but we were just friends. He wanted to come to Florida and have a visit. We shared many emails and I decided sure why not, come visit. There was no love connection but I was ok with a friendship and a visit that included some “benefits.”  Hey, I’m as modern a girl as anybody, so he booked a flight and I anticipated his arrival.

After picking him up from the airport I found him to be nothing like the person I talked to in email. He was a very abrupt person, very blunt and cursed so much that even a trucker would have been red faced. There was not one sentence he said during his entire visit that did not have a slew of obscenities in it and even the dreaded C word was part of everyday conversation. I too have a “potty” mouth and can put a trucker to shame BUT there is a time and a place!

You would think being “company” some manners would come into play but they just weren’t there. I was meeting the REAL him for the first time. I even took him to meet some of my friends and he was so rude to them that they were shocked.

We had the initial “benefit” on the 1st night he was there, but I can tell you it was awful, dreadful, disgusting … but I digress, I think you get the picture. Anyway, there was no way I wanted to do that again BUT how do you tell someone that has flown all that way and is still going to be staying in your home for another 6 days that there will be no more of that!?!

The best idea I could come up with was keeping him busy and tire him out during the day. I figured the more public places we could go  sightseeing the better. That way I could keep him tired  and then there would less likely be  any touchy feely stuff going on!  Shopping, travels to see people, amusement parks and of course, the beach. We have hot weather and great beaches that I used to my advantage!  He was from Idaho. Think about it, pasty white complexion, HOT beachy weather – my plan worked but it worked WAY better than I could have even anticipated! Day three of his visit we hit the beach, all day! I wear lotsa sun screen because I know better but him being Mr. I Know EVERYTHING didn’t need any, well of course y’all don’t! It’s not that hot (insert evil laugh) Sun burnt from his toes to the top of his head! I mean LOBSTER RED sun burnt! There was no touchy feely, there was no more sex but there was a lot of Holy Shit, damn I am burnt. Haha!

The final day arrived and I was so happy to have my company going home! I was pleasant but I also didn’t want him thinking there was anything more going to happen EVER. We had talked over dinner on his last night here and he was talking about moving here, he hinted at wanting a relationship – Ummmm did we not just spend over a week together? Was he not on the same planet I was during this visit? No I don’t want you to move here.  NO, I don’t want a relationship with you.  No, I don’t want to go visit you…. I was VERY up front before he came to visit and I had to be more a matter of fact when he was leaving that there was no feelings, just friends is all I ever offered and friends is all we would ever be.

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Love Story: Twisted_Tye & Fish

June 30, 2011 — americancurvygirl

Fish and I met at Chat Camp. He kept eating the hodge podge paste and using the Glitzy Glue as eye shadow then he danced around the camp singing … Ï’m a wood nymph, I’m a wood nymph” … it was instant love

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A Call For Your Stories

June 29, 2011 — americancurvygirl

Hello to all.  Just a short blog today to ask if any of you have any of your own Dating Site or other Internet romance stories you would like to see posted on my blog.  Have you used a dating site before? Did you go on any memorable dates?  Did you meet any psycho Singles in a chat room?  I can change names and will edit it for you so you don’t have to worry about grammar or any typos.   Either Love Stories or Horror Stories would be truly appreciated!  Thanks a lot and have a great day… :-)

Please Email your stories to AmericanCurvyGirl@gmail.com  and make the subject “My Story” and thanks again!

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Horror Story: Psycho Norman Eeee Eeee Eeee…

June 28, 2011 — americancurvygirl

I met Norman on a free Dating Site  and we had our first date on a Sunday evening.  We immediately hit it off. We were talking on the phone everyday and I was excited about getting to know him better. He did tell me that for the past year he had been taking care of his sick mother and that she had passed away several months ago.

Our second date was at the Macaroni Grill and then we went parking…Ooh la la; his kiss wasn’t the best but, his hands made up for it. There would be a third date. We talked everyday for the next four days, planning our third date; he was going to cook for me at his house and I was going to bring a movie.

We met up at Kohls on Friday night, did some shopping together and then we hopped into his car to go to a restaurant as he said he didn’t have time to shop and cook like he had planned. On the way to the restaurant, as he was stopping at a red light, he kept pumping his brake on and off and making fart noises at the same time……ummm, what was that I asked him….his response; I always do that, even when I’m alone in the car….okay……….we eat, he takes me back to my car and I follow him to his house down this dirt road to his sisters ranch where he stays in the guest house. I get out of the car to at least 4 very scary barking dogs behind chain link fences. I walk up to the gate of the guest house to find a shrine to his dead mother; balloons, flowers, pictures……what do I think…I dunno…kind of odd, but okay. Then I see the guest house, a single wide trailer (I’m not unwilling to live in a trailer). I walk up the steps and on the front door….another shrine to his mother….now I’m afraid to walk inside, but, I do. The smell is awful; it smells like urine. To my right is a bedroom with a knee-high gate blocking entry. I look in and there is a bed, that is un-made but the sheets and blankets have been pulled up over the pillows and there are seven dogs that look like really fat rats in the bedroom. Norman says; yeah, that is where my mom died and these were her dogs, we haven’t really touched anything since she died three months ago. I wanted to vomit and run from the house screaming. Instead, I thought a glass of wine would help me to calm down and not over-react. I was afraid to sit on the couch, it looked not clean, but I did and I get a whiff of cat food, right at eye level behind the couch is a sofa table with cat food on it. This place was disgusting, all I could think about was those 7 little fat dogs and his mother’s death bed and now this cat is trying to be my friend…but I have my glass of wine…..

Norman goes to put the movie on and the DVD player does not work so he gets his computer and puts it on my lap and puts the movie in his laptop and we start watching the movie and then he hands me a cat toy to play with the cat that is trying to get out of the trailer….

It occurred to me that I was going to need a lot more than wine to keep from being hysterical about this situation. I told him that I felt ill and left.
There was a phone call the next day from Norman asking me for a 4th date. I told him NO; I didn’t think we were a match. He asked if something upset me about the night before. I told him that not only did I think it was inappropriate for someone to have seven dogs and a cat inside that small trailer, but that not sanitizing the bedroom after his mother passed was just icky. He asked me if I thought her ghost was there; I hung up.

Bloggers Note: See what kind of quality Singles you can meet on a free Dating Site?  Finding love is not something you should cheap out on! It did make for a good laugh though, huh?  (Sorry to laugh at your misery “anonymous author” but this is super funny…hehehe.)

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Advantages of Online Dating

June 27, 2011 — americancurvygirl

  As you read through the Love Stories in my previous blog posts you probably wonder how it is so many people fell so head over heels for each other before they ever met in person.  It really is common  for two people to feel totally connected when they meet online. I myself have been there, so I’ve put quite a lot of thought into why it seems to happen to so many couples who met Online. I believe the reason is because when you meet someone online and get to know them in that realm,  you have nothing else to do but get to know each other.  

  You see, when you meet someone the old fashioned way you generally start out on a date, at a party, a club, a bar or any other number of places. With all of that there are a lot of distractions. Other friends, waiters, bartenders, television, music or just people in general are all around you so your focus is generally a little more scattered.

  A direct example of this is if you and your date go to dinner and a movie. Sure you spend about three to four hours together but most of that time your focus is on the movie, the menu, the waiter or other people in the restaraunt. Very little of that time is spent getting to know each other. To the contrary, when you meet someone online there is nothing else to do at all but to get to know each other. I would go so far as to say that three to four hours of talking online or on the phone is equal to six to eight traditional dates.  Also you don’t have the added distraction or stress of wondering if there’s spinach in your teeth or if your hair is sticking up, or whether there’s a candy cane stuck to your butt from sitting on it in his messy car. (Sadly that’s a true story and it happened to me on my VERY first date when I was a teenager. Shup! Stop laughing at me! It was bad enough at the time it happened and people were pointing and laughing at completely oblivious little ol’ me!) It’s just a lot easier and way more comfortable to just relax and enjoy the process of learning about each other when you get to know each other online first.

  Many couples who meet online get really comfortable with each other before they ever meet in person. What that does is make them almost instantly comfortable with each other when they do meet face to face. I’m not going to say there isn’t  any nervousness or awkwardness at all when you finally do go on that first real life date but I will say the awkwardness and nervous feelings dissapate much faster when you’ve already made that deep connection online and on the phone before actually meeting.

  This is why Virtual Dating works so well for people. It provides the perfect medium for getting to know each other in the comfort of your own seperate homes. I must admit that when I first heard of Virtual Dating I thought it was a little weird. I wondered how it could produce such fantastic results for couples who choose to do it. Then I realized that what it can do is slow down the pace of online dating while at the same time it can speed up and intensify the connection the couple feels toward each other.

  The old way of online dating was that you saw someone’s profile, made contact through email then set up a real life date not really knowing who that person is. With Virtual Dating you can slow down that process and get to know that person you’re  interested in before you go on the actual date. It saves you the time and the hassle of going on dates with people you really don’t feel a connection with. However, if it is someone you CAN connect with it actually speeds up that connection allowing for a much more comfortable real life date.

  Do you now understand the allure of meeting online? Do you get this whole Virtual Dating thing now that I’ve laid it out step by step?  I certainly hope so because explaining all of this made my brain hurt a little…lol. Also keep in mind that all four of the dating sites at the top of this page offer Virtual Dating so there’s no need to go out hunting for a site that offers it.  So once again I say to you Single People, go on out there and find yourselves some love!

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