Romancing the Web

When I first started to chat, it was in a room that isn’t my “home room” now.  I was new to any kind of chat venue,but made made friends amongst  the “regs” in the room.  One of the guys in the room said he was going to be visiting my area from out of the country to visit other friends he had in my little corner of the world.

   He talked about his plans in the room, and said that he was going  to be traveling by bus – asking those of us located in the end part of his journey the best way to get from the downtown area to the outlaying suburbs.  We told him he’d have to walk to the subway, then take a bus.. then transfer buses – a real pain.

   Thinking this person was a trusted friend, and being totally naive and wanting to help someone out, I said that I’d go down to the  bus station and pick him up, and take him to his hotel, located just north of where I was living.  I took my two young children with me to meet his bus, which arrived later than scheduled. 

  While driving to his hotel, my youngest started fidgeting and whining (being under 3 yrs old at the time) – she was hungry, and needed to make a potty break.  I told him I’d drop him at his hotel, but as my apartment was on the way, I really needed to stop to accomodate my youngest.  We went up to my apartment, and I ordered pizza.  We made small talk – the pizza  arrived, we ate it, and I instructed my kids to get ready to leave to take him to his hotel. 

  While they were getting ready, he all of a sudden attacked me!  He pushed me down on the couch, grabbing my arms and started biting my neck.  I was  TERRIFIED! I thought I was doing this person a favor – I NEVER saw this coming. My kids were down the hall, and here was this man who easily outweighed me by twice my weight, as well as being at least a foot taller than me, attacking me. Right after it started, the phone rang – it was my sister, calling to see if I’d made it back from dropping my friend at his hotel.  I said “um, no…”. Being the bond that there is with sisters, she realized something wasn’t right and asked if I was okay – I tried not to let this man know that I was sending up HUGE flares to my sister and replied nonchalantly “no.. not really”.  She asked me for my best friend’s phone number, who lived locally to me.  I gave it to her and continued to make small talk, while this man paced back and forth, glaring at me.  She told me to stay on the line – she was going to put me on hold, call my friend, tell her that she didn’t know what was up, but that I was in trouble.

   She put me on hold, and I continued to carry on a conversation with dead air… hoping all the while that he wouldn’t simply get fed up and do something drastic. She came back on the line, and told me that my friend was going to call me – to not act as if I was answering the other line when the call came in, but simply continuing our conversation.  When the call came in, I depressed the receiver button in the handset, and acted as if I was still on the phone with my sister – that we were carrying on a serious conversation about our mother. My friend said my sister had called, and that she understood I was in trouble.  Iresponded“yep..absolutely”.. she said that she and her hubby were on their way – to just hang on! 

  All kinds of thoughts were running thru my head – what if this man got fed up.. decided I’d been on the phone too long.. or went after my babies?  I clicked the receiver in the handset, and went back to my sister on the other line. She told me to continue talking.. to walk down the hall and check on the kids and tell them to stay in the back of the apartment – which I did, while this man followed me around, pacing like a caged animal, glowering at me.

  About 10 mins later, the buzzer from the main door of the apartment sounded – the cavalry had arrived!  I walked over to the intercom, and my friend’s husband said “its me.. let me up”.  I was still on the phone with my sister, and buzzed him in.  The man in my apartment said “who the hell is that??”.  I tried to respond as calmly as I could “oh, that’s my best friend’s husband.. they said they were going to be in the area tonite and may stop by”. 

  All I could think was.. my god.. I live SO many floors up – what if he snaps now??  He told me.. get rid of him.  My best friend’s husband is much taller than the man in my apartment.. but, is no where near his weight.  He also works for the local police department.  I answered the door when he got there.. he stepped in the apartment – told me.. go grab the kids, the wife’s downstairs in the car – go wait with her. I scooped up my babies ‘n ran!!  When I got downstairs I collapsed in the car crying.I couldn’t believe that I’d tried to help someone, and it had turned out so badly!!  I was also FURIOUS at myself for having been so stupid.. so naive. 

  My friend and I left, and went back to her place while her husband took my “chat friend” in his vehicle down to the bus station, and WAITED until he got on a bus headed back where he came from.  It wasn’t until we got back to my friend’s house that the full horror of what had happened sunk in – I had encirclement marks around both of my upper arms.. bite marks on my neck and shoulders.. more bite marks on my upper chest.  All I could think of was – oh my god.. if my sister hadn’t called, what would’ve happened??  The experience left me shaken for weeks – and distrusting of anyone in chat. 

 Years after, I met a man in chat – we became friends, and over the course of time, fell deeply in love.  It was still in the back of my mind what had happened to me years before – but, I knew the man I loved was nothing like the other I’d met.  Its very hard to learn to trust – to know WHEN to trust, when you meet people online.  Its hard not to make others “do the time” for a “crime” someone else committed – I had thought I was a grown woman, experienced, savvy.. no way could anything happen to me.  My best advice to ANYONE meeting someone from the internet for the first time is  – meet in public – do NOT take them to your home – not until you’re sure.  I’d much rather be safe than sorry – and I NEVER want anyone to experience what I did.  But for the grace of God – it could’ve turned out much, much worse.