Are You Worth Love and Respect?

People are always complaining that they are constantly being let down by the people they date. They say that everyone they are with does not value them, uses them, cheats on them, lies to them, or any number of bad behaviors that people do to each other. Often they say that they give up on finding anyone only to turn right around and be in another bad relationship where the same scenario is played out again.

The reality is that when it comes to love and relationships, we will only get what we think we are worth. It’s a lot easier to blame the world than it is to accept the truth about ourselves. If deep down inside you think there is something wrong with you then you will find yourself settling for just about anyone who shows interest in you that comes your way.

We find ourselves thinking that people in general just suck when it’s really our low self esteem that is the cause of our misery. It’s what makes us settle for the people who do not value us and treat us the way we should be treated. If you don’t think you deserve to be treated with love and respect then why should anyone else?

If deep down you believe that you’re too fat, too stupid, too ugly or just unworthy, for whatever reason, you are not going to attract the right people into your life. The kind of healthy, well adjusted people that we should all be looking for are out there for you if you believe you are worth their love.

Come on people, it’s not about those kinds of things anyway. You don’t have to be a card carrying member of the Mensa Society who looks like a super model to be worthy of love and respect You just have to value yourself and believe that you are worthy of it.

Dig down and find some good things about yourself and focus and build on that. If you can’t find a few good things about yourself then honestly you shouldn’t even be considering a relationship with someone else. In that case it’s time to do some serious soul searching and self work and perhaps find a good therapist to help you work through your issues. No one is going to save you but yourself. You can’t look for someone who brings out the best in you without believing that the best is already inside you somewhere.

True Love Continues To Grow – Wordless Wednesday

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True love continues to grow and evolve.

MeetingThe Right One…

When I was young I spent a lot of time second guessing every relationship I was in.  I would sometimes wonder if my latest love interest was the “right one.”  I spent a lot of energy trying to make them the right one. I would try to talk myself into being more into them than I actually was.  Sometimes I would change myself for them. I would pick up their hobbies and interests in an attempt to make things better. Of course it never worked out because no matter how hard I tried they just weren’t the right one.

Then I met my husband and it was a lot different.  When I met him it felt like I had met myself.  We were a lot alike without putting any effort into it at all.  In my mind, and his, we were almost the same exact person.   It really felt as though we had met some kind of extension of ourselves, as if we literally met our other half.   All we could see were the things we had in common. It took us about 3 years to realize that we were two individual people with different likes, dislikes, interests and upbringings.  I know that sounds strange and maybe it is, but I’ve spoken to a lot of other happily married couples and quite a few of them have told me it was the same for them.  Maybe it’s a soul mate thing, I don’t know, but in my experience it sure felt like it.

I’ve had platonic friendships that came close to this but without the chemistry of a love affair.  I’m sure many of you have met friends in your life who you’ve hit it off with and shared many things in common with.  Sometimes you meet a friend and become instantly inseparable because you get along so well.  That’s not so different from what I’m talking about here except the stakes are much higher when the chemistry is right.

I know when I met my husband I was scared to death to admit to myself that I was in love with him almost instantly.  When feelings run that deep there is a lot on the line.  Lesser (or maybe smarter?) people might have run away screaming with the flood of emotions I felt for him.  Instead of running I faced those feelings and laid it all out for him. I told him that I was in love with him and that my heart was in his hands.  Lucky for me he felt the same way but deep down in my soul I KNEW he felt the same. Honestly, I don’t think running away screaming was ever an option. We were both stuck like glue because the pain of even walking away would have been too great.

So if you ever find yourself in a relationship wondering if you’re in love you can bet the answer to the question is no.  Real love hits you like a ton of bricks and there is no doubt  about it.  Another thing that was different from the past was that I had NO doubts about it at all. Not a single hesitation.  There was no little nagging voice that filled my head with doubts.  Even the down right petrified fear of giving my heart so fully did not create any doubt in my mind.  Yes I was scared but no, I did not doubt for even a moment that he was the right one. 

So in my experience, the old cliché is true… When it’s right you know it.

As for WHERE to meet the right one, there are links to several Dating Sites at the top of this page.  Why not give one a try? Your  Soul Mate might be there waiting for you.   :-)

 

How To Attract A Good Woman

I hear it all the time,  Single men are constantly telling me they can’t find a good woman.  They tell me they only attract the crazy ones, or the crazy ugly ones, or the crazy losers.  I’m not going to spend this post telling you where to meet them. I think I’ve covered that but I will say it just one more time. There are links to good, quality, honest and feature loaded dating sites at the top of this page.  Even if you browse singles and don’t see anyone you’re interested in today, keep checking back because your dream girl could join at any time.

Okay, that’s out of the way, so let’s get down to it boys.  If you want to attract and keep a good stable woman…………..you have to be a good stable man.  Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Your friend “Joe” has a good stable woman and he’s a douche.  Well what you don’t realize is that either that good stable woman is seriously flawed, and they aren’t telling you, or he’s about to turn her into one of those psycho chicks you keep running into.

Now, when I say you have to be a good stable man I don’t mean that you have to be rich. I just mean you need to be decently employed or in school studying for your stable future.  Don’t get all up in arms at me thinking a good woman would look past all that, blah blah blah. No, I’m sorry but good stable people are good stable people because they demand certain qualities in life and in the people around them.  When I say qualities I don’t mean money necessarily. It could mean ethics, religion, ambition or even just pride. Proud people don’t live on their friends couches. You don’t have to be super successful in your career to get the girl either.  You just have to have a serious life plan and  be working toward your goals. That’s usually good enough. 

Decent, smart, stable women are attracted to men who share those same qualities.  Think about it guys, no one wants to end up supporting some guy who can’t keep a job or take care of himself. Do you really blame us for that?  Just show us that you’re capable of keeping a decent job and pulling your own weight and most of us are happy campers. Sure there are plenty of gold diggers out there but we’re talking about GOOD women here, not prostitutes who hide behind  wife/girl friend labels.

Another thing is you need to demand that she be good and decent.  If you’re dating a girl and she starts to show signs of being crazy or a liar,  get away fast and move on. Don’t stick around for the great crazy chick sex either, just get out quickly before you get even more tangled up in her drama.  Then look back and ask yourself some honest questions.  Did you cause her to get crazy by cheating? Did you do something to bring out her insecurities? Were you hyper critical of her? If every single woman you date turns out to be crazy you may want to examine these questions, and more, a little more deeply.

Something else you may be thinking about is what if you get the good woman then lose your job? Would she leave you if you weren’t able to find another one quickly? Usually not but I can’t promise you that every woman who seems good truly is good.  I can just tell you that when I met my husband, he happened to be making good money.  I say “happened” because honestly I didn’t care what a man made so long as I wasn’t having to support him.  Anyway, with the economy the way it’s been for the last 10+ years (I’m starting that back at the dot com crash that hit us so hard) he has never been able to make that kind of money since.  There have been years, yes years, where he wasn’t able to find decent work.  I worked and carried us through those times and at no point did I ever even consider divorce because I knew he wasn’t a  loser and eventually he’d find something and of course he did.

So you see, a good man attracted and held onto a good woman even through the worst  financial stresses.  Love grows strongest through stability.  The romanticized stuff about hard times bringing you closer is a load of poop because for most people hard times cause a huge strain on the relationship.  I think that’s partly why smart stable women demand stable men.  I find it highly interesting that stable men don’t always demand stability in women but then again, that’s your problem here isn’t it????

Just in case there are some women reading this, the same goes for you sister. Get your act together BEFORE you look for a man and you’ll be amazed just how stable a man you can find.

Say it with me people, and say it until it’s ingrained into your brains: STABILITY IS SEXY!  INSTABILITY IS YUCKY!   STABILITY IS SEXY!  INSTABILITY IS YUCKY!  STABILITY IS SEXY!  INSTABILITY IS YUCKY!

If you are already a good stable man then focus on the part of this that said to demand stability in your women.  Show some confidence! You’re a good stable man and that makes you a great catch!   Demand a good quality woman and leave the crazies to the douches out there who deserve the drama!

So get your life together then go out there and find yourself some love and happiness because after you do all that work you will deserve nothing but the best right?  Right.

Disclaimer: All women have hormones. All women are allowed to be slightly crazy for one week a month.  Unless you are dealing with a menopausal woman. She is entitled to a few years of craziness and really, by the time that comes around you must forgive her for it after all she has done for you. :-P

Love Story: Tiger and Six

Six’s Perspective  

   About a year after I took a chat sabbatical, I came back into Chat to visit with some old friends. It was not long before I met some new ones, who had become regulars in my years absence. One of these new friends was Tiger. Everyone already seemed to know him and were quite fond of him. I mainly just spoke to him in passing, because everyone else was, but that was the extent of our conversations.

  Until one night  someone asked if I had a cam and I answered saying “Yes I have a cam, but the view is so scary that Yahoo makes me call it Scare-O-Vision, and you have to read and sign a disclaimer before you can view!”  It wasn’t long before a few of the regs, who had never seen my cam before, asked to view. Tiger was one of them. Of course, I was joking about me being too scary for for yahoo, and it was only a matter of minutes before those who were viewing were saying so in the room. A few minutes later, Tiger asked to PM me, he seemed harmless enough, so I obliged. Not much of anything special in that conversation except that he assured me I was not scary, but rather, I was beautiful.I thanked him and told him he was blind!

  Over the next few days, we chatted privately about this and that, mostly just small talk, sharing sound wavs and photos. We hit it off and I realized, almost instantly from the 1st conversation we had, Tiger was a good person and would be a true friend. We found ourselves spending more and more time talkin in PM, than in the open room. In less than a weeks time he boldly asked me for my number, and I gave it to him without hesitation, something that was indeed strange for both of us. Even after he had my number in hand, we chatted in PM for hours more, until he asked shyly if he could call.

    It was at that point that I gave him the standard speech about the depth and drawl of my southern voice, and he laughed and assured me that it wouldn’t frieghten him in the least, so I logged off and he called. From that day on, we only missed one day of talking via phone. I would be waiting for him when he got home from work and we would chat online until the wee hours of my morning, then he would call me and we would chat some more! Many mornings, he would still be on the phone when it was time to wake my boys for school. The 3 hour time difference was unimportant. I can’t really remember when it was that I fell in love with Tiger. But somewhere, during endless conversations about life, hopes and dreams, he had scaled the high walls that surrounded my heart without even knowing he’d done it and I knew I loved him.

  One night before he logged off to call me he sent me a wav of Chicagos “You’re the Inspiration” and as I listened to the words of that song, I knew he felt the same way I did.  Later that night, on the phone, I sensed him struggling for the words he was too afraid to say aloud, and I said “It’s ok you can say it”  and with that he drew in a deep breath and said “I love you”  I quickly responded with “I love you too,”

  We cried together, tears of great happiness, with heavy sighs of great relief that the feelings were mutual and unconditional. In the weeks that followed we made plans to meet. We talked and talked for hours every day, learning anything and everything about one another. Asking and answering questions, growing together. Finally he called and told me that he had his ticket. From that point until his arrival the days crawled by and seemed endless. We were both excited but neither of us was a afraid. We already knew we belonged together.

  The day of his flight Tiger woke up and called me, we talked until just about the time he needed to leave for the airport. He called me again from the airport. but I was so exhausted from the excitement that we didn’t talk long. In the hours Tiger was travelling I was making sure everything I had planned was right. I’d made a sign for the airport and packed a picnic lunch with my best china, crystal and table cloth.

   In the morning when I woke up my coffee pot was dead and I NEED my coffee so I had to run to Wal Mart to get another one before leaving for the 3 hr trip to the airport. The 1st two hours of the drive were uneventful. It wasn’t until I’d gotten 30 miles from the airport that I saw a huge white puff of smoke come from under my hood. The smoke caused the cars behind me to have a chain reaction pile up. No one was seriosly injured, but the accident had to be cleared and the injured taken to the hospital. I was stranded on the Turnpike, Tiger was at the airport already and I had no idea how I was going to get there. Someone let me borrow their cell phone but Tiger couldn’t get a signal at the airport and had it turned off. I got his voice mail 3 times! At this point I was crying uncontollably. Half an hour later a State trooper came and called a tow truck that took me to where there was a cab waiting for me.

  Ya know how in chat you usually ignore obnoxious people? Well let me tell you, that is almost impossible to do when you are stuck in a cab with one for 40 minutes!! I couldn’t find that ignore button ANYWHERE and that guy would not shut up! At this point I was over 2 hours late for the airport, and that’s all I wanted to do…GET TO THAT AIRPORT!

  Meanwhile Tiger arrived and was wondering what happened to me, searching high and low in that massive airport with no luck finding me. I only survived the cab ride to the airport by knowing that Tiger was there waiting for me. I paid the guy, jumped out of the cab and ran to the terminal. I looked and looked  and he was nowhere to be found. 20 minutes later I was still looking with no success, when I happened to turn around and saw him walking towards me with the biggest grin I’d ever seen.

Three steps later I was where I’d belonged my whole life, wrapped in his arms. It was just like the movies everything around us just stopped, time stood still and there was only us. We kissed for a long time that 1st time, then locked fingers and slowly backed up to see if this was real. we knew by the dancing eyes and wide grins that it was indeed real!  Soon after, the reality of not having a car and no way to get home, sprang to the forefront of my mind. Tiger saw the worried tears come to my eyes and took my face into his hands and said “Baby don’t worry one second about that, we are finally TOGETHER and nothing else matters.”

  Ya know something? He was right. We were together and everything  else was un-important. They were only minor details. Oh, that picnic lunch I’d so meticulously packed? It had to be left in the car on the Turnpike as there was only room for me in the tow truck. This is only the 1st in a long line of adventures that we’ve encountered together. The rest are just as exciting and wonderful as this one, but we have strength to face them boldly because we are together and nothing else matters!   

Bloggers Note: Nine years later Tiger and Six are still together,  married and living in Washington, Tiger’s home state.  You see if people can meet and fall in love online from completely opposite sides of the Country (Six was in Florida) how much easier is it to meet someone more local from an Online Dating site? It’s a lot more difficult for people like this to make it happen than it is to meet someone within 100 miles or so of your home. Don’t be leery of using modern methods to find love! And don’t be afraid to expand your search criteria for a wider selection.  Sometimes a little bit of distance can create the perfect conditions for getting to know each other more thoroughly by long phone conversations, texts and messaging.

Horror Story: Naive Nicki & Psycho Pete

When I first started to chat, it was in a room that isn’t my “home room” now.  I was new to any kind of chat venue,but made made friends amongst  the “regs” in the room.  One of the guys in the room said he was going to be visiting my area from out of the country to visit other friends he had in my little corner of the world.

   He talked about his plans in the room, and said that he was going  to be traveling by bus – asking those of us located in the end part of his journey the best way to get from the downtown area to the outlaying suburbs.  We told him he’d have to walk to the subway, then take a bus.. then transfer buses – a real pain.

   Thinking this person was a trusted friend, and being totally naive and wanting to help someone out, I said that I’d go down to the  bus station and pick him up, and take him to his hotel, located just north of where I was living.  I took my two young children with me to meet his bus, which arrived later than scheduled. 

  While driving to his hotel, my youngest started fidgeting and whining (being under 3 yrs old at the time) – she was hungry, and needed to make a potty break.  I told him I’d drop him at his hotel, but as my apartment was on the way, I really needed to stop to accomodate my youngest.  We went up to my apartment, and I ordered pizza.  We made small talk – the pizza  arrived, we ate it, and I instructed my kids to get ready to leave to take him to his hotel. 

  While they were getting ready, he all of a sudden attacked me!  He pushed me down on the couch, grabbing my arms and started biting my neck.  I was  TERRIFIED! I thought I was doing this person a favor – I NEVER saw this coming. My kids were down the hall, and here was this man who easily outweighed me by twice my weight, as well as being at least a foot taller than me, attacking me. Right after it started, the phone rang – it was my sister, calling to see if I’d made it back from dropping my friend at his hotel.  I said “um, no…”. Being the bond that there is with sisters, she realized something wasn’t right and asked if I was okay – I tried not to let this man know that I was sending up HUGE flares to my sister and replied nonchalantly “no.. not really”.  She asked me for my best friend’s phone number, who lived locally to me.  I gave it to her and continued to make small talk, while this man paced back and forth, glaring at me.  She told me to stay on the line – she was going to put me on hold, call my friend, tell her that she didn’t know what was up, but that I was in trouble.

   She put me on hold, and I continued to carry on a conversation with dead air… hoping all the while that he wouldn’t simply get fed up and do something drastic. She came back on the line, and told me that my friend was going to call me – to not act as if I was answering the other line when the call came in, but simply continuing our conversation.  When the call came in, I depressed the receiver button in the handset, and acted as if I was still on the phone with my sister – that we were carrying on a serious conversation about our mother. My friend said my sister had called, and that she understood I was in trouble.  Iresponded“yep..absolutely”.. she said that she and her hubby were on their way – to just hang on! 

  All kinds of thoughts were running thru my head – what if this man got fed up.. decided I’d been on the phone too long.. or went after my babies?  I clicked the receiver in the handset, and went back to my sister on the other line. She told me to continue talking.. to walk down the hall and check on the kids and tell them to stay in the back of the apartment – which I did, while this man followed me around, pacing like a caged animal, glowering at me.

  About 10 mins later, the buzzer from the main door of the apartment sounded – the cavalry had arrived!  I walked over to the intercom, and my friend’s husband said “its me.. let me up”.  I was still on the phone with my sister, and buzzed him in.  The man in my apartment said “who the hell is that??”.  I tried to respond as calmly as I could “oh, that’s my best friend’s husband.. they said they were going to be in the area tonite and may stop by”. 

  All I could think was.. my god.. I live SO many floors up – what if he snaps now??  He told me.. get rid of him.  My best friend’s husband is much taller than the man in my apartment.. but, is no where near his weight.  He also works for the local police department.  I answered the door when he got there.. he stepped in the apartment – told me.. go grab the kids, the wife’s downstairs in the car – go wait with her. I scooped up my babies ‘n ran!!  When I got downstairs I collapsed in the car crying.I couldn’t believe that I’d tried to help someone, and it had turned out so badly!!  I was also FURIOUS at myself for having been so stupid.. so naive. 

  My friend and I left, and went back to her place while her husband took my “chat friend” in his vehicle down to the bus station, and WAITED until he got on a bus headed back where he came from.  It wasn’t until we got back to my friend’s house that the full horror of what had happened sunk in – I had encirclement marks around both of my upper arms.. bite marks on my neck and shoulders.. more bite marks on my upper chest.  All I could think of was – oh my god.. if my sister hadn’t called, what would’ve happened??  The experience left me shaken for weeks – and distrusting of anyone in chat. 

 Years after, I met a man in chat – we became friends, and over the course of time, fell deeply in love.  It was still in the back of my mind what had happened to me years before – but, I knew the man I loved was nothing like the other I’d met.  Its very hard to learn to trust – to know WHEN to trust, when you meet people online.  Its hard not to make others “do the time” for a “crime” someone else committed – I had thought I was a grown woman, experienced, savvy.. no way could anything happen to me.  My best advice to ANYONE meeting someone from the internet for the first time is  – meet in public – do NOT take them to your home – not until you’re sure.  I’d much rather be safe than sorry – and I NEVER want anyone to experience what I did.  But for the grace of God – it could’ve turned out much, much worse.

Virtual Dating

The latest trend in online dating is Virtual Dating.  What is virtual dating?  It’s kind of a practice date before committing to the real thing.  By creating an avatar and doing a run through date with singles you’re interested in, you can become more comfortable with each other before actually meeting.  Studies show that people who meet each other in person after having already done virtual dating together are more comfortable and at ease with other.

Virtual dating helps avoid first bad dates and leads to real life relationships. Research done by social scientists from Harvard, Duke and M.I.T. showed that people who go on virtual dates first tend to like each other more when they meet in-person and have more successful in person dates.

People also say it’s a lot of fun to do. Everyone I know who’s tried it has said it was a very enjoyable way to test the waters before going out on a real date. They say it’s a lot like the real thing but you don’t have to get dressed up for it.  Sometimes people who set up a virtual date can discover that they are not a true match so it can also be a time saver.

All of the Online Dating Links at the top of this page offer Virtual Dating so if you’re interested in possibly giving it a try you should pick one and go check it out.  I hope you will enjoy it as much as everyone else has and good luck!

Tips For Finding Love…

In these modern times it’s becoming increasingly common for singles to meet each other online.  Why mess around looking for people in bars and clubs? Why not meet someone who’s intentions are up front  just as yours are? I mean when you see someone you’re attracted to in a bar you have to find out if they are not only single but are they looking? Are they attracted to your type? Do they share your same interests and have compatible goals? Are they as religious or non religious as you are? Are they looking for marriage or just playing the field? The benefits of online dating is you can quickly find out necessary information and move on unscathed if they’re obviously not a good match for you and most of the time they will never even know you were considering them.

  Okay, so let’s say you see a few people that are interesting when you browse a dating site so you decide to join and make a profile.  You want people to be interested in you so it’s important to showcase yourself in a positive light.  More than anything else it is important to be HONEST. If you lie about yourself you won’t likely make it past the first date.  Besides, you want someone to love you for you and not some fictional person you’ve made up, right?   If you feel that you are less than perfect don’t worry.  It’s a big world out there on the Internet and there will be someone out there that  will think you are perfect no matter what.  Honesty on the Internet is a powerful thing.  The net is full of liars and people respect those who tell the truth.  I can’t tell you how many times I have told a chat room full of people that I have a fat butt and that my body is not perfect (what ever that is) and I get flooded with private messages from guys who appreciate an honest person.  Not everyone is shallow, in fact I see more people who could care less about perfect bodies, to them a good personality is key.

  Showing personality is the trick.   If you can learn to shine through a text world (Profile, Facebook Wall, Tweets, Chat, E-mail) you will be attractive to many people.  A sharp mind and a great personality is as sexy as a good looking face or a perfect body (again what is that?).  If you’re not sure what I am talking about here, go into a chat room and watch the room.  You will see that people gravitate toward certain people who have the skill of shining through in text.  If you are not that kind of person don’t worry there is someone for you, it will just be easier to find someone on a Dating Site  rather than a Chat Room but you still have to find a way to make your true personality transcend text.

  Also, know what you are looking for and get it.  A lot of heartache comes from people not knowing what they want.  Don’t just go along with someone simply because they want you.  Make sure you want them, for who they are, in return.  You deserve to be in a relationship with the person that’s right for you not just the person who wanted you.  If they are not right for you move on and find the one who is.  Be a little picky and give yourself some credit.  You are perfect to someone and someone will be perfect to you.  Keep your standards high and it will pay off in the end. 

  Although, setting your standards TOO high can be a big mistake. I mean come on, be real.  If you are an average Joe with an average job you probably shouldn’t shoot for America’s Next Top Model.  That will only lead to frustration and inevitable failure. Just look for an average Jill with an average job that who possesses that certain spark.  Looks fade so you really want someone who makes you happy in more ways than appearance.  You went through all that trouble to shine through text so why not look for the same thing in others?

Love Story: D and D

The Story of D & D   

 Our romance began in the same room as most of those who’ve appeared on this blog .  There’s something about the people or the atmosphere in that room – when you least expect it, love seems to bite you on the.. well, you get the idea.  On to our story.. Dark (that’s me) was a single mom of 2 daughters, living in the Great White North (aka Canada).  Dallas (the hubby), was a rock ‘n roll hippy musician, living the wild life in .. well, where else?  Dallas.  The “room” was where I’d been “hanging out” for longer than I care to admit – but, not in search of love.  I was there to be with my “family”.. those friends I’d met online who’d become closer than some of my real family members.

  Anyway, one night, Dallas came into the room, dropping a spam message about the internet release of his band’s CD.. then left!  Usually, anyone who spams the room earns an automatic ignore from those who frequent the room – but, for some reason, I didn’t.  He showed up numerous times over the next few days, doing the same thing – spamming about their new CD, then off he’d go.  Finally, one day he came into the room – I saw his nick come in, and before he’d had the chance to leave his little offering, I said “DALLAS!!  you REALLY don’t want to just spam ‘n leave, now do you?  I know you’re dying to come talk to us!”.  I watched the screen. .. waited for the inevitable spam message.. but, was greeted with an “LOL”.  OMG.. he was HUMAN!!!  He stuck around and talked to us, then was gone again, but not without the usual message.  Over the course of the next week or so, he’d come in.. I’d crack off to him about knowing he wanted to stay and chat, and he would.. but, would soon be off again.  I told him finally that I’D spam the rooms with his messages, if he’d ONLY STAY A WHILE! 

We became friends over the course of weeks – sharing our stories, telling each other how neither of us wanted to be married ever again… then, one day I realized that I was feeling something deeper for him than I’d bargained for.  It was in January of 2001 – I remember hinting to him in the room that “Valentine’s Day is coming up, yanno.. would really suck not to have a Valentine to share it with.. *hint.. wink…*”.. to which he’d ALWAYS come out with “brb.. phone”, leaving me to rant in the room about his rotten dang phone timing.  Little did I know that he had no phone call.. he was sitting at his computer, laughing at me ranting, knowing full well what I was getting to, but wanting me to stew in it!  I thought he was off on the phone somewhere, and would be in the chat room, telling everyone how I was getting my phone demolisher’s gear on.. was going to break into his house and disconnect his phone line, not realizing he was sitting there WATCHING and laughing!

  Finally, at the beginning of February, Dallas wrote me an email, in response to one I’d written him because I hadn’t seen him online that night.  In it, he asked me to call him collect the next day to wake him up, and hinted ‘n hmmm’d and finally asked me, in the email, to be his Valentine!  I still have that email!  Next morning, I waited, watching the clock, willing it to be the time I could FINALLY call and talk to him.  I was in the room, trying to keep my mind off it, when he SHOWS UP!  I was so disappointed!  I said “I can’t call you now – you’re here!”  He laughed and said “if you really wanted to, you could still call”.  Without another word, I jumped offline and called.  When he answered the phone, my heart soared – I told him who it was, he barely said “oh HI!”, when someone knocked on his door and he said he had to go!!  I was heartbroken!  He said he’d call me back later, and I thought to myself “yeah, sure he will”. 

He called back at 3pm that afternoon.. and, we didn’t get off the phone until 9am THE NEXT MORNING!  We talked on the phone for weeks, falling deeper and deeper in love (and, racking up the phone bills!).  One day, he said to me on the phone “so, where do you want to get married??” and I was thrilled!  We’d both sworn we were never getting married again – but, love works in mysterious ways.  Our first face to face meeting was planned on very short notice – and, was to be a PERMANENT one!  Dallas and I both knew what we had was real – so, at the beginning of April of that year, we decided he was coming up from Texas, picking me and my daughters up, and moving us back to the States with him – first meeting!  

  The entire time he was driving up was nerve-wracking – I spent alot of time in our “usual” room online, with all our “family” trying to keep me sane until he got to where I was.  The moment the elevator doors opened, I knew this was the man I was meant to spend the rest of my days with – all I had to do was pry my then 12-yr-old daughter off him first!  Both of our girls adore him.. we got married in August of 2001 and have been inseparable ever since.  We may not be where we want to be in our lives together yet – but, we know that we’ve been thru so much, we can get thru anything! It’s Like being a kid and getting to eat Cake and Ice Cream every day!

Horror Story: Beauty and the Boozer

Beauty and the Boozer  

   I had not really ever used a computer before but they got me to use one at work so I invested in one myself for home.  My friends told me AOL was a good ISP so set up the comp and installed AOL.  I saw they had a chat bit on there and had heard that chat was kinda a laugh, so being pretty out going I thought why not give it a go. So I downloaded AIM and searched through the categories till I found one that seemed good. 

  I read a profile of a guy who lived not really that far from me and seemed like a laugh so I sent him a message and said hi. He replied and we spent the whole evening chatting laughing and generally having a good time. We chatted through the net via voice and typing for bout 2 weeks and seemed that we were getting close. So being brave (or possibly stupid) I asked if he wanted to exchange mobile phone numbers and he said yes so we did.

   The next thing I know he called me and we chatted for a few hours.  After another couple of weeks of talking on the phone and the net, as well as him sending me his pic. I didn’t have any pics on my PC to send him but described myself as best as I could. He suggested meeting, to which I agreed to but I know the risks so I said in a public place and was going to bring a friend with me and he had no problem with that. 

   I told the guys at work and they (we being all good friends) said to make him come to our town and they would be in the same pub,just in the back ground, watching. So I rang him that night and told him of the plan and he said that he didn’t mind coming to my town and everything on my terms. Of course I didn’t tell him about the watchful eyes that were going to be there.

  I was sitting at home one Sunday and he called me and told me he was in a pub in my town, not the one we had agreed to meet in and that was not the day we had agreed to either. He said he wanted to surprise me. Well I was excited, scared, apprehensive and flustered. The guy who I had been talking to these weeks had come to see me and couldn’t wait till the agreed meeting time. I gave him directions to the pub that we had agreed on and said I would meet him there. I jumped into the shower and did everything in bout 20 minutes what normally takes me to do in 2 hours. Hair make up the works all done and I had also called a couple of guys from work and told them the situation. 

   Walking up to the pub that was 10 minutes from me, my heart was in my throat. I was so nervous. I walked into the pub, straight up to the bar ordered a drink and looked around. There he was in the corner he waved and I waved back. I walked over to his table and did the normal `hi how are you, good thanks, you`, all the small talk and then I sat down. We just looked at each other and then I said with a smile `OK, 1st impression, come on then, be honest.` He laughed and said `Well I expected someone prettier.` Now those who know me know I am fairly blunt so my reply to that was `Well I guess you lucked out then.` I poured his pint over his head and left him sitting there as I walked out the pub, mumbling `loser` and smiling all the way home. 

  I heard nothing from him for a few days then he rang me up , drunk, one night apologizing for what he said and that he really did like me and wanted to make up for it among other things in his drunken babbling style. I told him I wasn’t interested and hung up. Every night for 2 weeks he called me. Some I answered and every time he was drunk. Then came the most laughable thing I have ever heard. One of his drunken calls he told me `I`m going to Spain on holiday so you need to get hold of me and have sex with me before the Spanish girls do.` Well I could barely hang up the phone for laughing.

   The following night I was on the net and he logged on. He IM`d me and asked me why I didn’t want to talk to him. I kinda figured that he wouldn’t leave me alone unless I spelled it out for him, so I told him that he was a drunk and a loser and I was not going to waste my time on him. I didn’t threaten him with the police or anything for the harassment but told him straight I didn’t want any contact with him. Well I had a few emails from him after that but they soon fizzled out. So that’s it, my story, not as spectacular as some but that has taught me to be wary on the net. 

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